Think of it, Thing
For 25 years
we've attempted to contact Fester
in the great beyond
and for 25 years..
nothing. I'm beginning to think
my brother truly is lost
Don't be a baby
I know what I'm doing
Help me
Look at her.
I would die for her. I would kill for her
Either way, what bliss
Unhappy, darling
Oh, yes
Yes, completely
Gomez..
sun
I Ime perce comme unpoignard
Oh, Tish
That's French
Oui
Cara mia
En garde, Monsieur Soleil
Gomez..
Last night you were unhinged
You were like some desperate howling demon
You frightened me
Do it again
Thank you, Lurch
Damn you, Addams
Sorry about the window, Judge
Keep the ball
I have a whole bucketful
You moron
It is a milestone, Tish
This very night, our 25th seance
All those years gnawed by guilt..
undone by woe..
burning with uncertainty
Don't torture yourself, Gomez
That's my job
Oh, Tish
Imagine, darling if Fester did come back..
half alive... barely human
a rotting shell
Don't tease
Stop it
I'm warning you
Look, darling. Tully is here
Tully
Romping with Gate
These are you last paying clients
may I remind you
If it gives you pleasure
Something has to
like a decent coat. something dressy for evening
Ask for a loan... beg
No loans. I am not a bum
Don't say it
I'll get the money. I have a plan
This is all so humiliating
Why did I marry you
Because I said yes
I'm here to see Mrs. Addam
about the charity auction
Stop it! Let go of me
FESTER ADDAMS
Ah, missed
What's that
Dirty pool, old man. I like it
Had enough
Where's my pen
Never mind
I'll take yours
First, the old business
Charity auction. It's ridiculous
Perhaps it's in here. I don't think so
'Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe. '
'Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe. '
'Uncle Niknak'.
'The Fester Addam offshore retirement fund'
What would it do What wouldn't it do
Fester, all tribute to thee
Some called him inhumanly evil
No
only at parents I called him brother
His memory must live on forever... through money
I'm depositing the fund under my name for tax purposes
That's inspired
He would've wanted it that way
Beloved Fester
Indeed
For Fester
For Fester, a brother
My brother
One of a kind
The doctors all said... Kind to animals
So good with children
They never proved anything
$1 million is the perfect amount
It's brilliant
It's untraceable
But, Tully, it's not old business
It's going to have to wait. You know the rules better than that
This is different. This is in my name
Make an exception
Old business is old business
This is new business and we do not discuss new business until..
next quarter
Next quarter
Fine lunge
but your riposte-
a tad rusty
Make yourself comfortable, old man
while I get the money for the monthly expenses
There it is
Just what we've been searching for
Thank you, Thing
My God
What is it
A finger trap from the court of Emperor Wu
It must be worth a fortune
Ooh, Morticia
This is too extravagant..
even for the auction
Let's keep it
Hush, Mama
for charity. Widows and orphans
We need more of them
Margaret..
About the seance tonight
I wish you'd come
It's Gomez
I'm terribly worried about him
He wont eat he can't sleep
He keeps coughing up blood
He coughs up blood
Well, not like he used to
Down, kitty
GONE WITH THE WIND
There
The monthly expenses
Miss Bradbury
She's gone home, Mr. Alford
Oh, Mrs. Craven
I was just about to call you
I'm certain you were
You haven't met my son Gordon
have you, Mr. Alford
Hello
Is this the one, Mother
That deadbeat you mentioned
No, w-wait. Wait, wait, wait
Hold on. Hold on
Hold on. You have to listen to me
Do we, Mr. Alford? And why
Please..
Hear me out. Hear me out
Please..
Please! Ah Your call, Mother
Gordon and I enjoy a very special relationship.
She's a pip
Refreshing, no? Down, Gordon
Mother Gordon
Gordon
We've lent you a considerable sum
many thousands of dollars
Payment due
I don't have the money. I've tried everything
Oh, Gordon, I want to believe him so do i
Make me proud
No, no, no, no, no
He lied to us, Mother
No no, it's not what you think!
Those are doubloon for the Addams account
Addams
There's more theres a fortune
But nobody can get to it. dont you thinkl've tried
Have you? Have you tried hard enough?
Ask him, sweetheart
No, no, no, sweetheart. Don't ask
Fester
It's a miserable night
I know darling.
Seance weather
Children, we're starting
Put down that antenna
MOTEL ENTRANCE
It's unbelievable
This hideous creature and my little boy
They could be twins
But they're his family.
What make you think they'll fall for it
You shave your head. We dress you up. No problem
They'll think he's Fester
their long-lost brother
I hope so, for your sake
I've been the Addams lawyer for years
They're morons
Obviously. what about the gold
They got this vault Where
I'm not sure That's a problem
Isn't it?
Fester's been missing for 25 years
He and Gomez had a fight
And Gomez feel incredibly guilty about it
He'll tell you anything. Just ask
It's fool proof
It had better be. Now, get out
It's going to be great
You're gonna get back all the money I owe you and... and more
You'll see. Really
This is it, Mother. The one we've been waiting for
no more loanshark
no more storefront scams
I get the gold, and we're gone
And Tully takes the rap
Gordon, it's brilliant
No, not Gordon
Of course not
Fester
Big night for you guys. eh, small fry
Hello, sweetheart
Could you...
Thank God
Welcome, honored guests
Entrails
Sing, O spirits. Harken all souls
Every year on this date
we offer a clarion call to Fester Addams
Stop it
Pugsley
Kids. From generation to generation
our beacon to the beyond
All close eyes and join hands
Ow! What a grip! Ow
Oh, my hand
Ohh! My hand
She's got my hand
Excuse me
O.K., pumpkin, sit down. Join the fun
Mama, you should know better
Thing, you're a handful
Wednesday..
Let us ransom you
from the power of the grave. Tonight, O Death let us be your plague
Mama
Fester Addams.
I feel that he's near
Fester Addams..
gather your strength..
and knock three times
Did you hear that
Ask again, Mama, quickly
By all means Ask, ask
Fester Addams. I demand that you knock again
He's at the door
Could it be Is it him
Is it possible Oh, my God
Fester
Gomez
Good evening
I am Dr. Pinder-Schloss
He was found in Miami
tangled in a tuna net
It was just last month
during the Hurricane Helga
The sky, it was black like pitch
The waves, they were walls of doom
Can you imagine
They drag him from the ocean
From the very jaws of oblivion.
There were tests, so many tests
A complete psychological profile
At long last
the Florida Department of the Fish and the Game
they say, lo and behold
oh, my, oh, my, oh, my..
go tell it on the mountains
he is your brother
Boom! They give him to me at Human Services
and I am bringing him after all these years
after who know what heartache
after the naked and the dead
I am bringing him home to you
That's preposterous
Isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard
It certainly is
Now you're back
Yes, back
Back to share your joys your sorrows-
Hey, everything
I just don't know
How does this work, again
An infant would understand
Fester Addams..
home at long last
Well, at least for a week
A week
Don't be ridiculous. You're home
Sorry, but I have to get back
Got a lot of things cooking in the Bermuda Triangle
Oh, Gomez
Bermuda Triangle.
Devil's Island
The black hole of Calcutta
Excuse us
Second honeymoon
Dr. Pinder-Schloss
will you be staying with us, too
No, no. I must be going
But I will be back, you can bet
to be checking on Fester's adjustment
Cool
Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle
not even for a vacation
Everyone knows that
Oh my little panda.
So much you don't understand
The human spirit. it is a hard thing to kill.
Even with a chain saw
Unpacking
Let me
It's all right. I can do it
Crowbar
Dynamite
Cyanide.
Fester..
as if we'd run out
Good night
Nosy little brat
CAMP CUSTER
FLORA FAUNA
Who's there
My own dear brother
I got goosebumps.
I know
Screams in the night..
It can only mean one thing
He's home
Please! Please
Leave me alone
Breakfast
Damn, it's good to have you back
Let's go
Two out of three?
Home cooking
There's nothing like it in the world
May I have the salt
What do we say
Now
What is this
Mama's specialitede la maison
Oh, Tish
Start with the eyes
Did you sleep well Like the dead
Really? Who would have thought the Bermuda Triangl
could change a man so much
You used to toss and turn all night
We had to chain you to the bedpost. Doesn't make sense
The Bermuda Triangle is a very strange and mysterious place
You'd be surprised at all the things you don't know
She certainly would
Wednesday adores the Bermuda Triangle
She studies it
Death at sea- She's hooked
Ask me anything
Being in my old room sure brings back memories
Remember Camp Custer
For preteen offenders
Aren't memories precious
Today I'd like to wander through the house... remembering
No, no. Sorry, old man no wandering today
Today we're going straight to the vault
STOP
Bravo, Pugsley
Greed
I feel like we're children again
Tag. You're it
# Playmate, come out and play with me #
# And bring your dollies three #
# Climb up my apple tree #
# Look down my rain barrel #
# Slide down my cellar door #
# And we'll be jolly friends. Forevermore . #
Smell that air, Fester
Like a tomb
Tuttia bordo, fratello mio
The sea... your second home
Ship ahoy
Do you think that's really Uncle Fester
Father says so. but I think Mother isn't sure
Pugsley, sit in the chair
Why So we can play a game
What game
It's called..
Is There A God
The vault.
2 to the right.
10 to the left
And then around to..
5,
11,
2, 10, 11
Eyes, fingers, toes
So many years
Welcome back
Thanks
Our secret place
Sanctus sanctorum
If these walls could speak, eh, old man
What, uh what would they say
You tell me
You first
Senior partner
Junior spaceman
First a brandy. Do the honors
I've got a real treat in store
Where is it you ridiculous imbecile
Show time
DYNAMITE
There
The debutante ball
Remember that fateful night
Of course
Your first cigar
What? Come on I've smoked since I was 5
Mother insisted
Flora and Fauna
Quite the pair, eh, Gomez
Can you ever forgive me
What
I didn't love them yet I wooed them both
Out of foolish pride.
You were so dashing,
you coul have any woman you wanted dead or alive
I was jealous
Insanely jealous
I admit that now
But I did not mean to drive you off
Not to the Bermuda Triangle
Water under the bridge
Forgiven. Forgotten
Come on. Say it
Say the secret password
The password? I..
Come on. Stop fooling. You remember
Please...
I'm choking. Please
You forgot our secret password
the word we use a hundred times a day
our special private name for each other
That was a long time ago when we were children
You almost killed me, you demented freak
Poor devil, what did they do to you in that Bermuda Triangle
But if he's not Uncle Fester then who is he
Somebody else
It has to warm up
Why
So it can kill you
I knew that
Children, what are you doing
I'm going to electrocute him
But we're late for the charity auction
But, Mother..
I said no
Please
Oh, all right
This magnificent piece is encrusted with rubies
And 15 emerald gibs.
Uh, it was donated by Morticia and Gomez Addams
Remember, this year over half our proceed
will benefit the elderly and the mentally disabled
I'll open the bidding at $5,000
5? Hah! Not good enough
$20,000
What are they doing
I have 20
25 25
Cara mia
30.
Mon sauvage
35.
50.
I have $50,000
Your turn, my ecstasy
50,000 going once. 50,000 going twice
Sold to Morticia Addams for $50,000
Isn't it too enchanting. How do you take it off
There's a trick to it..
of course
'How do you take it off?' That's absurd
That finger trap was a party favor at his 10th birthday
Oh, no
Father's playing with his trains
He wore that finger trap for two years
Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet
And the combination and the password
and my cigar and he slept so well
He's using the diesel
The covered bridge
Dead man's curve
It's all about Uncle Fester, isn't it
Spirits above me give me a sign
Shall I be joyous or shall I be damned
Sleepless night
Walk with me, Fester
Aunt LaBorgia
Executed by a firing squad
Cousin Fledge
Torn limb from limb by four wild horses
And darling Uncle Eimar. Buried alive
Psychopaths..
fiends..
Mad dog killers.
Brutes, Fester
Pioneers
Lest we forget
Your beloved Muerto
After you left he was simply a different vulture
He wouldn't circle
He wouldn't peck
That's how much you mean to this family
Mother and Father Addams
How I wish the children
could have known them better
but tell that to an angry mob
And our credo
'Sicgorgiamusallo subjectatosnunc. ' 'Sicgorgiamusallo subjectatosnunc. '
We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.
Not just pretty words.
As an Addams
you understand completely, don't you
As an Addams..
yes, I do
Good night, Fester
Rest in peace
They're on to me, Mother. I'm almost sure
Of course I tried. I still can't find it. You gotta get over here
'Arsenic, cyanide'- arsenic
Don't say that
You know I do
His trains are everywhere
The children are beside themselves
Is that for your brother
I don't think so
This can't go on.
How can I help him Tell me, Mama
Troubled husbands
Adultery
Oh, no
Uh, financial, money troubles
No
'Turned into toad or reptile. '
Is there an index
They know I'm a fraud
The whole bunch
It's not going to work
Who knows? Gomez that overheated moron
He's no moron. He's Fester's brother.
They had some awful fight years ago.
He's suspicious. They all are. I can tell
Really? Well thank God I came over here.
I will counse the troubled family
ease their distress
It's my calling remember, Gordon
what
I'm a doctor
Why don't you speak to Fester, darling
He's right outside the door
I would speak with Fester if that were Fester
but that is not. That's an impostor
An impostore
A charlatan! A sham
A counterfeit
O villain, villain smiling, damned villain
Who calls me a villain
breaks my pate across
cuts off my beard
and blows it in my face
If I must strike you dead. I will
No
No, no, no, no, no, no
Give me that sword
Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone
He's only a child
No excuse
Aim for a major artery
The jugular
A faker
A phony
An utter fraud
A base, deceitful-
Mr. Addams
I believe I am understanding
I can help.
The theory of displacement- is this familiar?
No. Tish
Oh, it is too exciting
I will explain
Is it unpleasant
Deeply
Your very own brother you drive him away 'Go! Off with you!'
But then you are feeling
the little black monster
Pugsley Guilt. Yes
Your brother returns. You feel guilty
You displace
I do
The feeling in your brain cells
they bubble and collide
You suspect things. You love him but you resent him
Love. Hate
Hate. Love. Like for Mama.
I didn't hate my mother. It was an accident
It's a very common psychosis. I'm seeing it every day
Lucky doctor
Displacement. How bizarre
And here I though Fester was the problem
He's sullen
He's furtive. Backstabbing.
He sulks I suspect him
You're unbalanced And I hate him
By God, you're right. He is Fester.
Thank you, Dr. Pinder-Schloss
I do what I can
You see, children there's lots to learn
Gangrene.
Uncle Fester how do you know so much
I've been around. I pick things up
In the Bermuda Triangle
Look, children a new chapter
Scabs Scabs.
Three parts dynamite with a nitroglycerin cap
It's perfect for small holes, carports
and toolsheds
Mother.
Everyone will be at the children's play tonight, correct
Oh, yes. I've been working with them
It's going to be fun
Fun
Is that what we're here for, fun
See what they've driven me to
I've raised a hand to my child
my reason for living
You can't go to the play
But the kids..
The house will be deserted. The vault will be ours
But, Mother..
Can you hear it, my treasure
My heartbeat. It beats only for you
Listen closely. It says 'Gordon, I love you.
Gordon, the vault. '
I do hear it
Soon we'll have the money
and we'll be far from here
Loving mother..
grateful son
Understood
Ah, there you are, at last
What a fool I was to doubt you
Dr. Pinder-Schlos explained everything
What a lovely woman. So chilly
Displacement. It's a common psychosis
Isn't that grand
Is it
Look at it, Fester
The primeval ooze-
quicksand, fumes, toxic waste
It's all ours, Fester
You belong here, old man
Stay
You don't know what you're asking.
You have a beautiful wife wonderful children
a wasteland, I'm in the way
In the way? My brother
Gomez, take care.
For you life is all fun and games
You dance in a graveyard. Stench. Decay. But things change.
Precisely. You're back. All those years apart, Fester
We can't do that again
You're home
Fore
Damn you, Addams
Uncle Fester
Come on, Uncle Fester
Come to the play I said I was busy
But you said you'd help us
with the Shakespeare and the pus
I changed my mind
Mrs. Addams can I see you for a moment.
I'm Susan Firkins
I'm Wednesday's teacher Oh, of course
Wednesday's told us so much about you
Wednesday is an excellent student
but, frankly, I'm concerned
You see, this is our class bulletin board
This month our theme is our heroes-
people we love and admire
You see, Susan Ringo has chosen the president
Isn't that sweet
And Harmony Fel has picked Jane Pauley
Have you spoken to her parents
But Wednesday brought in this picture-
Calpurnia Addams
Wednesday' Great-aunt Calpurnia
She was burne as a witch in 1706
They say she danced nake in the town square
and enslaved a minister
Really
Oh, yes. But don't worry
We've told Wednesday
college first
Isn't he adorable
I made this myself
Charming.
What is he, a lizard An elf
Look at you
That's better
You are too precious for words
Why, I could just eat you alive
Oh, no, Margaret. Too young
# Getting to know you #
# Getting to know all about you #
# Getting to like you #
# Getting to hope you like me #
# Putting it my way, but nicely You are precisely #
# My cup of tea... #
Wednesday, Pugsley
I changed my mind
Uncle Fester
Gordon? Gordon
It's Mother
Damn it, where is he
I never should have used him
# Free and easy #
# When I am with you #
# Getting to know what to say #
I knew you couldn't stay away, old man
# And breezy #
# Because of all the most beautiful and new #
# Things that I am learning about you #
# Day by day #
# By day #
Damn it
Gordon. Gordon
Are you there
Gordon
Ooh! Ooh! My goodness
Say! Look! Ooh Will somebody come here-
Oh, my
How all occasion do inform against me
and spur my dull revenge.
Oh, from this time forth
my thoughts be blood or nothing worth
If I must strike you dead, I will
A hit
A very palpable hit
O proud Death..
what feast is towar in thine eternal cell
Sweet Oblivion, open your arms
Bravo
There were sailors, pirates
and a plane full of tourist from Miami Beach
all lost in the Triangle
Uncle Fester will you take me there someday
It's a promise
Good night, Wednesday. Good night.
You were terrific
Uncle Fester
A theatrical triumph
It's like a dream
it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air
A boy
A girl
An open grave
It was my first funeral
You were so beautiful. Pale and mysterious
No one even looked at the corpse
Your cousin Balthazar
You were still a suspect
I couldn't stop staring at yo
all through the eulogy
Your eyes, your mustache
your laugh
You bewitched me
I proposed that very night.
Just think-
Someday we'll be buried here side by side, 6 feet under
in matching coffins
our lifeless bodie
rotting together for all eternity
Cara mia
Mon sauvage
Hey, bigfoot
Don't stare. Just get me out.
Did you like the blood
I was so proud
Weren't we all
Wednesday, play with your food
Mama
Who put this in here
That's for company
Rascals
Doctor, you were so right
What an evening.
Fester fit right in
The displacement is over
Isn't that nice?
Does he really have to go Yes, he does
Well, if he insists upon leaving
we shall mark the occasion. Tish.
We've planned a farewell party
We've invited the entire clan
What a lovely gesture
We're a family again
and we owe it all to you, Dr. Pinder-Schloss
Please... Greta
Greta
Fester, walk me out
I'm fine, Mother Im completely in control.
They're not your family, Gordon
I am
They don't love you
I do
They're evil and corrupt and degraded
I can give you that
I'm fine. Really.
We'll see
Open up
A party
For me
Tish
how long has it been since we've waltzed
Oh, Gomez
Hours
It, old man You're right
Far too long
Don't let me out of your sight
These people are abnormal
Don't exaggerate
Oh, by all means
They're clients, Margaret
Wednesday.
Yes, Mother
Would you run upstair
and check on your uncle, please
Why, Lumpy Addams
Look at you
All grown up
Uncle Fester?
I understand
I hope so
Don't let me down Don't buckle
It's not gonna be easy
There are people everywhere.
You can do i if you stop whining
Nobody likes that
It's unattractive
All right. Fine
I will try and reach the vault tonight
But if I can't
well, then that's it
O.K., Mother
I knew it
You are a fake Come here, my little one
Wednesday
Get her
Flora and Fauna Amor
I cannot see
I am blinded by such beauty
Gomez Addams
You terrible flirt
Always was
At least with me
Copycat
Tag-along
Why, Gomez, the Amor twins
I've heard so much about you
Morticia, you nabbed him
This darling man
He was mine
He was mine How can I compete
You're twice the woman I am
Tully, the Amor twins
They're waiting for Fester
Amuse them
Hello, Tully
Oh, my God
You mean you don't know
It's too intriguing
Fester's king of the castle again isn't he
Fester's the older brother so he gets it all-
The house, the money you name it
Fester's single, isn't he
Are you, Mr. Alford
Why, Fauna-
I'm Fauna
I'm Flora
I'm flattered
Excuse me, ladies
I can't find her anywhere
Let's just leave, at the back.
Now pull yourself together
She'll turn up the little cockroach
Get to the party or they'll suspect something
I'll be down soon
Yes, Mother.
Everyone
your attention, please
Tonight we dance fo our treasured guest of honor-
Fester Addams
The mamushka
Taught to us by our Cossack cousins
the mamushka has bee an Addams family tradition
since God knows when
We danced the mamushk while Nero fiddled
We danced the mamushk at Waterloo
We danced the mamushk for Jack the Ripper
And now, Fester Addams
this mamushka is for you
Where are you going. There's trouble
Hey, not to worry
Plan 'B.'
But that hideous little girl knows-
I'm in charge
10 minutes, I'll be back
# And a hey and a hey. And a hey and a hey Wait #
# I swear by Mummy and Daddums #
# This detestable Fester's #
# The echt Fester Addams #
# So #
# Let's dance the dance of brotherly love! #
# Mamushka # # Mamushka #
What the hell' going on over there
How would you like to be rid of the Addamse
for good
I'm serious
What can I do for you
You are going to love this
We've been married for almost 20 years
Sometimes it seems like more
Well, people grow
People change
Isn't it a beautiful night
Come see me before you leave.
I'll call once I'm alone
There's your ride, girls.
You're a marvelous dancer
It's been such fun
I can't. We mustn't
Call me
Gordon
Gordon, stop it
Stop it, Gordon
Stop it this instant. Is that lipstic all over your face
From the twins
The beauteous Amor twins
The twins
Gordon, I don't understand. Have you been having a good time
Yes! I have
It was marvelous
I sang up a store
and danced till I dropped
Mother
Mother? Mother? Who is that
I don't think I recall
Mother, please
I'm just fine
I'm dandy
Don't concern yoursel about me, Gordon.
Please, return to your depraved orgy
Sometimes I think you're not even my son
Don't say that
You only owe me your entire existence on this planet
Please, Gordon, by all means
go sing, dance, date
Oh, Mother, I'm so terribly sorry
It was just a party.
It's over
It means nothing
The siamese twins, the hunchback
Cousin It-
They're not you
Say it. Make me believe it
I love you.
And I want money
We've got to find Tully
Look, our little boy
All tuckered out
He looks just like a little entree
Where's the party It's over, darling
Have you seen your sister
Not since before the mamushka
Gomez
Fan out
Pugsley, head for the dung heap
Mama and Morticia the shallow graves
I'll take the abyss
Lurch, check ou the bottomless pit
Fester
Up here
Fester, you take the ravin and the unmarked abandoned well
Someone should stay behind
in case she comes back
Good man. Good thinking
Then who'll take the swamp
That's the spirit, Thing
Lend a hand
Let's go
Gordon Don't dawdle
THE SUN ALSO RISES
What are you doing
I'm relaxing. Taking a little sun.
Have you gone mad
Au contraire
Wednesday
ADDAMS FAMILY NO TRESPASSING
What is all this
This is a restraining order
Restraining order
Yes. It requires you to keep a distance
of 1,000 yards from this house.
I am restrained from my own house
Not your house not anymore
It belongs to the oldest living descendant
the elder brother- Fester Addams
Fester adores Gomez
He's afraid of him. Seeing the twins brought it back
You're bitter rivals.
I demand to speak with Fester
Sorry. No can do.
He's very hurt
Just leave
But he isn't even Uncle Fester
Have no fear.
Justice shall prevail
The courts will decide
They say a man who represents himself
has a fool for a client
Well, with God as my witness
I am that fool
Therefore it is with no small amount of personal satisfaction
that I declare Fester Addams
legal executor of the Addams estate
and rightful owner of all possession
and properties contained therein
with one exception
Gomez Addams
I believe these are yours
You are doing this on purpose
That's right, Mother. Isn't this fun
I'll race you back.
Yes, we've been forced from our home
Yes, we've been betrayed by those we trusted
but we are Addamses
and we will not submit
of the tortoise and the hare-
the swift yet lazy little cottontai
and his slow but determined companion
What does this story teach us
Kill the hare
Skin it. Boil it.
Put the tortoise on the highway
During rush hour
Yes
We will survive
Poison us
Strangle us
We will come back for more
And why. Because we like it
Because we're Addamses
We're Addamses
Here, Lurch
On the house
We have so many homemaker reentering the workforce.
Your domestic skill can be very valuable.
College? Private tutors
Major
Spells and hexes
Liberal arts
What about your husband
Is he currently employed
He's going throug a bad patch at the moment
but it's not his fault
Of course not
What is he, a loafer
A hopeless layabout
A shiftless dreamer. Not anymore
Is this made from real lemons
Yes
I only like all-natura fruits and beverages
organically grow with no preservatives.
Are you sure they're real lemons
Yes Well, I'll tell you what
I'll buy a cup if you buy a box
of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Deal
Are they made from real Girl Scouts
And, so, the witch lured Hansel and Grete into the candy house
by promising them more sweets
She told them to look in the oven
She was about to push them in
when, lo and behold
Hansel pushe the poor, defenseless witch
into the oven instead
where she was burned alive writhing in agony
Now, boys and girls what do you think that feels like
COURIER WANTED
Welcome to the show
Voodoo witch doctor in the United States-
Do they really exist,
or is this just tabloid hooey
We'd love you to callin with your comments
After lunch, we'll try again
Yes, Mother
We'll find the money.
Meanwhile, we have this little nest
quiet and cozy
without that dreadful family
Yes, Mother
you claimed your son was brainwashed by voodoo witch doctor
and forced to recruit others
Let's take a call
Hello, Sally
Mr. Addams, please stop calling
We do not know where they meet
Let's take another call
Gomez, why don't we go for a drive. whole family
A drive
And miss Gilligan
Dinner's going to be late
Here, boy. Here, boy
Gordon
I would like to speak with Fester, please
You're a desperate woman
consumed by greed and bitterness
We could have been such friends
Gordon lets get started But, Mother-
Stop stalling
I am not stalling and stop badgering me
the vault Mrs Addams. Any thoughts
None whatsoever
Tully, take over. Tighten it
I got this stomach thing when I torture people. Do it
Again
Tighter
You've done this before
Who is it
We're paid through Thursday
Mor-Morticia
Morticia..
Morticia what
Slow down
It's terrible when you stutter
Morticia..
in..
danger. Stop
Send help..
at once. Stop
You can't
Not with red-hot pokers
Is this gonna smell
Tully Alford-
charlatan.
deadbeat
parasite
How Gomez adored you
Well, not enough
Morticia Please
And, dear Fester
which is the real you-
the loathsome, underhanded monster you've become
or the loathsome underhanded monster
we came to love
Don't ask me
I know what you're feeling, Fester
Gordon
Gordon, I have a thought
Just a notion, top of my head
Tell me what you think
Since you and Mrs. Addams are so very close..
be my guest
Addams
Cara mia
Mon cher
Darling, take care
Dirty pool, old man. Never again
One for you, Tully
and now..
one for me.
Gomez, I'm on retainer.
Let him up
That's right
Now get moving, Addams
Take him to the vault.
and if you're not back in one hour..
I displace her
Tish, seeing you like this
my blood boils
As does mine
This wheel of pain..
Our wheel.
To live without you- only that would be torture
A day alone-
only that would be death
Knock it off
The vault, Addams, right now
Mother can we...
Can it, Gordon
Stop dragging your feet
You disgust me
You're nothing but a useless, sniveling baby
a stone around my neck
I should have left you where I found you
No tricks, Gomez That's the wrong book
Allow me
HURRICANE IRENE NIGHTMARE FROM ABOVE
Good show, old man
Put that book down, Gordon
You don't know what it can do
It's not just literature
Oh, really
Quickly, darling
Gordon, I'm your friend
Think of the doubloons
They're not yours, Tully
Back off
Leather straps. Red-hot pokers.
Later, my dearest.
Keep the book closed
Listen to Mother
I'll never listen to you
never ever again
I had to be strict with yo because I cared. Put it down
You never really loved me
Fester, this way
Stop whining, you littl good-for-nothing. Be a man
You were a terrible mother
There! I said it
PINDER SOHLOSS TULLY ALFORD
Are they dead
Does it matter
SEVEN MONTHS LATER
Trick or-
Here we come
Pugsley, old man
Why, look at you
How do you like it. What can I say
He's gonna break hearts
Trick or treat
Hello, Margaret, Cousin It
I almost didn't recognize you
Isn't he handsome
Everyone keeps asking where he bought his costume
It is a wonderful hat
What are you, darling. Where's your costume
This is my costume
I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.
I'm so glad I can spend this night with my family
now that I've got my memory back
Thank God for that lightning
Knocked some sense into you
You remember, old man
Dr. Pinder-Schlos really did find Fester
tangled in a tuna net 25 years ago
with amnesia
From the Bermuda Triangle
How true
Stranger things have happened
Please, Uncle Fester
Pugsley
For the picture
All right, everybody
time for a game
What shall it be
Bobbing for apples
Charades
Of course. Wake the dead
Wake the dead
Out to the cemetery
Come on everyone!
I've never played this before. How does it go?
Did you bring a shovel
Uncle Fester, will you be on my team? No. Mine
We'll give you a head start-
three skulls and a pelvis
My own dear brother
Come on
We'll catch up
Wake the dead
Uncle Atlas, wake up
Come on, Aunt LaBorgia
wake up
No, children You have to dig
That's half the fun
Oh, Tish what more could we ask
Gomez..
Cara mia, is it true
Oui... mon amour
Wake up, Grandpa Addams
It's Halloween
Children, look
Great-aunt Lavinia
She was beheaded by her own children